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True or false: single women are either arrogant and prideful or needy with baggage

Do you mean that pastor has secret wife (you)?

Was your official title secretary? Cliche.
No he did not have a secret wife and I more worked for his wife than him. I helped with cleaning house food prep and cooking along with other tasks to help her. Official title would be hand maiden or more socially acceptable “maid”.
 
Because I have spoken with a number of women who have tried to justify their leaving of their ex because “he cheated”, and now she’s looking for plural. That one really leaves me scratching my head.
Yeah, that is a mind-blower. If she is interested in Polygyny now, she should seek to get her husband back, if she hasn't slept with anyone.
Deuteronomy 24:4 Her former husband, which sent her away, may not take her again to be his wife, after that she is defiled; for that is abomination before the LORD: and thou shalt not cause the land to sin, which the LORD thy God giveth thee for an inheritance.

Likewise no man in his right mind should want to marry a woman who is going to drag him down and hinder progress in the mission God has given him. So work on being valuable to the kind of man you hope will take you as a wife.
Most women get focused on what they think YaHWeH wants them to do and then they expect a potential husband to give up his vision for her. Well, I believe this and you need to believe what I believe. When in all reality they need to submit to the vision that YaHWeH has given HIM.
We agree on Most doctrine and we’re on the same calendar so it’s not that kind of issue.
The sad thing is that a lot of women expect a man to believe the same way she does when in all reality they need to submit to his belief. For instance, in my house, we calculate Passover from the first new moon after the spring equinox. And some women go by the barley or the Zadok and refuse or pass up a man because, he doesn't believe the way she does. They don't want a man to rule over them, which violates...
Genesis 3:16 Unto the woman he said, I will greatly multiply thy sorrow and thy conception; in sorrow thou shalt bring forth children; and thy desire shall be to thy husband, and he shall rule over thee.
And they just can't accept the fact that a husband has this much power.
Numbers 30:6-8 And if she had at all an husband, when she vowed, or uttered ought out of her lips, wherewith she bound her soul; (7) And her husband heard it, and held his peace at her in the day that he heard it: then her vows shall stand, and her bonds wherewith she bound her soul shall stand. (8) But if her husband disallowed her on the day that he heard it; then he shall make her vow which she vowed, and that which she uttered with her lips, wherewith she bound her soul, of none effect: and the LORD shall forgive her.

That happens when we disagree on an understanding of scripture? For example the calendar or sabbath timing, how do you approach resolution of things like that?
She can disagree all she wants, the fact of the matter is, she is to obey her head, her husband.
1 Peter 3:1 Likewise, ye wives, be in subjection to your own husbands; that, if any obey not the word, they also may without the word be won by the conversation of the wives;

That would be like me saying to YaHWeH, I don't approve of the calendar that you set forth and I want to use the roman calendar or I understand what You say about clean and unclean animals but escargot is so tasty.
1 John 2:3-4 And hereby we do know that we know him, if we keep his commandments. (4) He that saith, I know him, and keepeth not his commandments, is a liar, and the truth is not in him.


There is so much talk about how toxic it is for a woman to be raising a boy by herself but yet i don’t see any of those same men jumping at the opportunity to be a “big brother” or “uncle” or even a “minister” to these young boys of the single mother. Recognizing a problem but doing nothing to fix it.
I will say this hit a raw nerve in a good way for me because I share a lot of videos and such about how bad it is for a woman to raise children without a man in their life. And yet I am doing nothing to help these women. Thank you for pointing that out.
James 4:17 Therefore to him that knoweth to do good, and doeth it not, to him it is sin.

Needs to be extremely committed and willing to submit to her new husband and the new husband will clearly understand that he's not just taking her on, he's taking on a new child that he is going to take care of as if this child is his own, and she has to acknowledge that he is being selfless in this act. He is bearing a burden that was not his to bear, out of love, kindness and in some ways self
Some, not all expect the husband to raise their child and yet he is not allowed to discipline that child if they are in need of correction.

Proverbs 13:24 He that spareth his rod hateth his son: but he that loveth him chasteneth him betimes.
Proverbs 22:15 Foolishness is bound in the heart of a child; but the rod of correction shall drive it far from him.
Proverbs 23:13 Withhold not correction from the child: for if thou beatest him with the rod, he shall not die.
 
She can disagree all she wants, the fact of the matter is, she is to obey her head, her husband.
1 Peter 3:1 Likewise, ye wives, be in subjection to your own husbands; that, if any obey not the word, they also may without the word be won by the conversation of the wives;

That would be like me saying to YaHWeH, I don't approve of the calendar that you set forth and I want to use the roman calendar or I understand what You say about clean and unclean animals but escargot is so tasty.
1 John 2:3-4 And hereby we do know that we know him, if we keep his commandments. (4) He that saith, I know him, and keepeth not his commandments, is a liar, and the truth is not in him.
This is precisely what I was getting at.
 
No he did not have a secret wife and I more worked for his wife than him. I helped with cleaning house food prep and cooking along with other tasks to help her. Official title would be hand maiden or more socially acceptable “maid”.
I sense you were not really attracted to him.
 
I wrote a post that simply stated “Multiple Wives, yes or no?”, attending to start a conversation about it. At that time I had quite a bit of followers and I think there were almost 1000 comments.
Every now and then I lament being an intentional cultural luddite.

I really enjoy conversations and exchange of ideas and bouncing new information back and forth to come to new conclusions. Presumably places like facebook would be ideal for this sort of thing.
That and as a prepper food preservation nerd, I know there are groups galore for thst type of geek to congregate and share ideas or long lost deep lore style knowledge etc...probably one of the only other environments where you could get some plyg life conversations going besides this dedicated forum. Was told that reddit had lots of conversations...uhm. no. No it doesn't have what I would consider a lot or useful.
Besides facebook, where can one find long form engagement on topics with a large number of people on a goodly number of topics?
 
Every now and then I lament being an intentional cultural luddite.

I really enjoy conversations and exchange of ideas and bouncing new information back and forth to come to new conclusions. Presumably places like facebook would be ideal for this sort of thing.
That and as a prepper food preservation nerd, I know there are groups galore for thst type of geek to congregate and share ideas or long lost deep lore style knowledge etc...probably one of the only other environments where you could get some plyg life conversations going besides this dedicated forum. Was told that reddit had lots of conversations...uhm. no. No it doesn't have what I would consider a lot or useful.
Besides facebook, where can one find long form engagement on topics with a large number of people on a goodly number of topics?
I find Pete Rambo’s telegram group to be absolutely the best thing that has ever happened to me in this regard. There are so many different topic threads you can literally sit there and speak with like minded believers about all kinds of things. I especially like the single women’s thread that allows me to have access to elders to ask questions and seek wisdom on matters. I HIGHLY suggest joining.
 
I find Pete Rambo’s telegram group to be absolutely the best thing that has ever happened to me in this regard. There are so many different topic threads you can literally sit there and speak with like minded believers about all kinds of things. I especially like the single women’s thread that allows me to have access to elders to ask questions and seek wisdom on matters. I HIGHLY suggest joining.
I appreciate the recommendation

Not sure how well I would fit in pro or con.
I am in a little different position.

I know the day to day functional aspects well as most anyone in the pro-plyg space and certainly beat the drum fairly loudly as advocacy goes.
I am however a bit of an outsider on this site and in other environments where the focus on polygamy is with a religious element. I don't object to it obviously as I am here and active but I am walking a parallel path as opposed to the same path.

So, something of an odd duck by comparison and not sure, beyond just new conversations on the topic of polygamy broadly speaking, that I would take away or practical personal experience infrastructural/nuts and bolts issues I could contribute
 
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I am however a bit of an outsider on this site and in other environments where the focus on polygamy is with a religious element. I don't object to it obviously as I am here and active but I am walking a parallel path as opposed to the same path.
@paterfamilias would you mind sharing what your faith based beliefs are, if any?
 
Sure, it won't be particularly satisfying for the reader.

As I am bright enough and we'll read enough to not belie that everything we can observe and the vastly larger amount that we are incapable of observing is all just a big coincidence and the like.
Beyond that, having read a fair amount of religious material and done a fair amount of thinking on the topic, none have touched me to date.

Oddly, rather than being either a mouth foaming mad at sky daddy as a proxy for my parents and having never gotten over toilet training atheist or a shoulder shrugging dunno bro I am too busy to think of that stuff agnostic...I am a guy that beats the drum louder than most on the topic of faith and it's value. Surprisingly big advocate for a community be it large or small to be as close to homogeneous of faith as possible. Vastly more viable and cohesive community.
Collapse of faith is the harbinger of doom for all empires and we can all see the erosion of faith, traditional sexual roles, the family, sexual mores, fertility, trust...I could go on a bit.

So, there you go. Anticlimactic

(Should have said voodoo and completely confused the hoards of woman teetering on the edge of sliding into my DMs to profess their deep interest....hoards...hoards I tell you)
 
Wow, this is a great thread! I think we all can struggle with pride arrogance and being needy with baggage. This really helps me see how not to approach Christ. Its not a good call to go to him and demand he cares for me because its his job. But to approach him humbly and to be teachable knowing without him I have no hope, remembering much of the mess I am is because of my own doing and my own foolish and wicked actions. Praise Yah that he would redeem his people.
 
@paterfamilias, I've got to be honest with you here. Being in agreement on spiritual matters with your wives is crucially important. There is a fundamental principle here which you have no doubt heard before - Christians are explicitly instructed to not be "unequally yoked with unbelievers". In other words, when we are working alongside someone much of the time ("yoked"), we need to be in agreement on much more than just the job at hand. This applies to all of life - it's why people tend to gravitate towards people of the same religion and politics in business for instance - but applies most strongly to marriage, because that is the part of life people are most closely yoked together.
2 Corinthians 6:14-18 said:
Do not be unequally yoked with unbelievers. For what partnership has righteousness with lawlessness? Or what fellowship has light with darkness?
What accord has Christ with Belial? Or what portion does a believer share with an unbeliever?
What agreement has the temple of God with idols? For we are the temple of the living God; as God said,
“I will make my dwelling among them and walk among them,
and I will be their God,
and they shall be my people.
Therefore go out from their midst,
and be separate from them, says the Lord,
and touch no unclean thing;
then I will welcome you,
and I will be a father to you,
and you shall be sons and daughters to me,
says the Lord Almighty.”
So, much as you seem to be a great guy, I don't think a Christian wife is what you should be looking for.

You're really looking for a morally conservative wife. You are considering a Christian one simply because where you live most atheist women are nuts, and it's only the Christians that have remained sane. And I can completely understand that attraction. But this conservative culture that you value can only be preserved by marrying those same Christian women off to other Christian men who will create Christian families that will continue that culture. Marrying outside the faith, even to a decent man, is the first step towards diluting the influence of Christianity on the culture, and ending up with the very liberal atheist culture that you despise.

Cultural Christianity - the philosophy held by conservative atheists like yourself, Richard Dawkins and others - is a short-term phenomenon that appears during the change from a Christian culture to a non-Christian culture. You cannot hold onto it. It will disappear in a generation or two. It is simply nostalgia. And when a "cultural christian" - an atheist who likes conservative culture - marries a Christian woman, because he is dominant in the marriage, the children will simply not end up holding those values strong enough to preserve the culture. It has to be grounded in genuine faith to be preserved for multiple generations, and most of those children will not have such a faith.

Christians are the "salt of the world", the ones that preserve it. The only way to preserve the culture that you value is for those few rare conservative Christian women to marry conservative Christian men and raise children who have the same faith.

I know those women are incredibly attractive to anybody. I can completely understand why you want one, or more than one - they're awesome. But they are not just there to be enjoyed by one man, they have a crucially important job to preserve a society for all men. And this is why Christians have always been careful to try and marry their daughters off to other believers. That is how the culture you love was preserved for centuries, and it is the only way to preserve it for the future. There have always been some Christian women married off to other men - even Muhammad married one I believe (which explains much of the Christian flavour of the Quran). But the majority must marry Christians in order to sustain the culture, and as they become rarer this becomes more crucial by the year.

If you want a Christian wife, find Christ first. Then marry one and you can be part of the solution, rather than just someone who simply enjoys the fruits of a belief system that you do not share and are not yourself going to grow and spread.

We've got our eyes on a much larger mission here than just our own private marriages.
 
Christians are explicitly instructed to not be "unequally yoked with unbelievers".
I suspect this is the practice of nearly every man here. We won’t even consider non Christians. That is question number one during the dating or courting process. With the possible exception of the man who attempts to lead her to Christ first. Most other issues can be worked around. That one can’t in my opinion.
 
I suspect this is the practice of nearly every man here. We won’t even consider non Christians. That is question number one during the dating or courting process. With the possible exception of the man who attempts to lead her to Christ first. Most other issues can be worked around. That one can’t in my opinion.
For some of us, the number one question has to do with the difference between the Real One, and "another jesus, whom we have not preached."

They ARE going to hear from such 'christians' about a 'jesus' who said said there can be only one [wife]. If the goal is to "preserve a culture" that respects His Word, we might as well deal with the "hard questions" right up front.
 
I suspect this is the practice of nearly every man here. We won’t even consider non Christians. That is question number one during the dating or courting process. With the possible exception of the man who attempts to lead her to Christ first.
My comments aren't directed at anyone in particular, but meant to be a little thought provoking.

Rather than looking for a Christian woman to become another wife, why not put that idea to the side and focus on teaching the gospel to everyone? If God should happen to save an 18 year old, virgin, orphan, who is highly educated, is eager to travel to NZ, and wants to be wife #2 for @FollowingHim, you just became the best friends of @FollowingHim and @FollowingHim2. If she is 19 or older, maybe you can keep her for yourself(?)

That aside, it would seem like a more satisfying road to walk since you might have the special joy of leading someone to Christ, even if they aren't suitable wife material. And they may become lifelong friends in gratitude for you taking the time to talk with them.

Maybe I'm so old now I see more to life than acquiring wives as a primary goal for my service to God(?) Mind you, evangelism and making disciples has been a primary concern since God first saved me, and He's blessed me with two wives to walk this journey with me along the way. Cheers
 
That aside, it would seem like a more satisfying road to walk since you might have the special joy of leading someone to Christ, even if they aren't suitable wife material. And they may become lifelong friends in gratitude for you taking the time to talk with them.
This is exactly where I am and I find it to be a beautiful location.
Maybe I'm so old now I see more to life than acquiring wives as a primary goal for my service to God(?) Mind you, evangelism and making disciples has been a primary concern since God first saved me, and He's blessed me with two wives to walk this journey with me along the way. Cheers
I may only have one but I see far more need for the gospel being spread than wife acquisition.
 
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